We thought it was a bit of an inconvenience at first, but once we read it over we saw the purpose in it. It is a crucial piece of work for our site. We have taken the legalese that our attorneys wrote and we translated it over into words that everyday people can understand.
We highly recommend reading what is written on this page, as it could save you some real headaches from the courts and in particular – Prosecutors.
This Is Our Position:
We operate this website to give people (just like you) an opportunity to enjoy cyber-gratification, communication, education, information, and entertainment.
We want you to have fun browsing all you want. You are even able to download stuff as long as it’s only used for personal, non-commercial reasons. If you download things from our website, we suggest that you ‘NOT’ mess around with the copyright or any other notices we have placed there. We have good reasons for adding what you see and read on this site. Any kind of redistribution, re-use, transmitting, re-posting, or modifying is strictly prohibited. You are not permitted to alter any text, audio, video, or images for any commercial or public use without our expressed written permission (which we probably will not give).
Any visitor on our site is legally obligated to read our ‘Terms and Conditions’ which we have listed below, as well as any other laws, rules, or regulations that apply to our site, the World Wide Web, or the Internet. If anyone has any problems with the conditions laid out above, then they should not access or browse our website.
Once you have begun, you are instantly bound by our ‘Terms and Conditions’ and cannot turn back.
The Following Are the Top 10 Rules for All Cybersurfers Who Want to Hang Out on Our Website:
(1). For the sake of everyone, we suggest you ‘instantly assume’ that everything we have is copyrights, unless we distinctly say otherwise. You cannot use the things on this site just any way you please without expressed written permission from us. Again, we are unlikely to give it. Even should we wish to do so, our attorneys would probably veto it anyway, so it’s pretty much a waste of time to even ask.
(2). We always try to maintain accuracy on our site to the best of our ability, however, we do not promise total accuracy. All we promise is fun and entertainment. Anyone using our site is doing so at their own risk. If you run into any kind of problems, do not call, we are not liable nor responsible for any omissions or errors found on this website.
(3). NOBODY, meaning WE or ANYON ELSE who was involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the information on this website, are liable for any damage suffered while using it. Our attorneys have asked us to inform you straight up that our disclaimer includes –
Incidental, Indirect, Punitive, or Consequential Damages as a result of anyone accessing or using this website. Without limitation we are offering you this website ‘AS IS’. That means ‘WITHOUT ANY TYPE OF WARRANTY, EITHER PLAINLY EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, WHICH INCLUDES, BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO, FITNESS FOR A SPECIFIC PURPOSE, IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, OR NON-INFRINGEMENT.
Note: Please note there are some jurisdictions that might not allow any exclusions of implied warranties. What that means is that some of the exclusions mentioned above might no apply specifically to you. You need to take it upon yourself to check local laws regarding any type of restrictions or limitations concerning implied warranties.
We had to say the above statements the way we did because of our attorneys, it was the only way they would accept them. However, the bottom line remains the same – We ARE NOT responsible for anyone who browses our site or suffers damage from our site (like computer viruses, etc.) and we sincerely hope that doesn’t happen to anyone, but these things are part of the Internet reality today. DO NOT CALL US.
(4). Anything you don’t want to share with the whole world, use your smarts and simply don’t post it on this website or anywhere else on the web. Anything you choose to disclose to us, or most anybody online, belongs to US or them. That means we can do whatever we want with it, including transmitting it, disclosing it, broadcasting it, posting it, reproducing it, or publishing it anywhere we choose. We could, in fact, send it to your mother if was have her address. We have the right to use ay concepts, techniques, know-how, or ideas that you post. That includes the marketing, developing, or manufacturing of products or anything else that involves the using of information you have posted here.
(5). Any kind of pictures you see posted on our website are either somebody else’s property or OURS, and are not to be used without permission. What that means is – IT IS DEFINITELY NOT YOURS TO USE. You may not use it, nor can your friends, without permission from its owner (much like driving a car). We simply do not allow it, so it is advised that users of this site mind their ‘Ps’ and ‘Qs’ and just behave rationally and logically. Unauthorized use of this website could violate a whole bundle of nasty laws. Use your head and keep what you download to yourself.
(6). You will find there are lots of logos, service marks, and trademarks on this website. They do not belong to you and we either own them outright or have received permission from their owners to use them. Nobody else has free license to use them. One of the biggest ‘Do Not Dos’ on this site is messing with a trademark, a logo, or a service mark. This will spark a vigorous campaign aimed at prosecution. This will not be pretty. It’s so much easier to just enjoy the site and behave yourself. Have fun, not headaches.
(7). No doubt you’ll notice that we have linked this website to many others. That is indeed very cool, but it does not mean we have checked those other websites out. We are not responsible for you being sent to a site that offends you or that you frown upon, simple click to somewhere else. You can link, but you do so at your own risk.
(8). Now we will discuss what you do when you’re on our site. Be warned that we do occasionally listen in to chat groups, and we occasionally check out what is being posted in discussion groups or on the bulletin boards. We legally bear NO REPONSIBILITY for any liable, defamation, omissions, obscenities, profanity, pornography, slander, or mistakes for anyone using our site. Never be stupid enough to transmit anything unlawful, pornographic, inflammatory, scandalous, racist, threatening, mean, profane, or obscene, as well as any type of material that law enforcement may interpret as being a criminal offense, or be cause for a civil lawsuit, or violates any law ‘whatsoever’ anywhere at any time. We most definitely respect your privacy, however, we must at all times fully cooperate with law enforcement and the authorities, or any court that may ask about who it was that posted such offensive things on our website. We cannot protect you, so behave.
(9). The software used on this website is protected by many various patriotic laws of the United States. For that reason, you cannot download this software, nor can you send it to anybody who resides in vacation travel spots like Iraq, North Korea, Libya, Iran, Cuba, Syria, or any additional countries where the U.S. has embargoes goods.
SPECIAL NOTE: This also means you cannot send it to anybody on the U.S. Treasury’s list of what they deem ‘Specially Designated Nationals’, or on the United States Commerce Dept.’s Table of Deny Order, or anyone on the FBI’s Most Wanted list. If you live in one of these places or are a national of any of these places – You ARE NOT supposed to be here in the first place. Get off this page immediately!
(10). We reserve the right to change this page as well as anything on it whenever we desire to do so. It belongs to US and we have programmers who are standing by to change it as we see fit. If and when we actually do change this page, you are LEGALLY BOUND to those changes as well as long as you are on this site. It pays to keep up with the Terms and Conditions.
Here are the rules we have to follow if we feel the need to ‘SUE’ a user of this website. According the the rules of engagement laid out by the Geneva Convention, we must adhere to the following:
This Agreement is totally governed by the laws within the United Kingdom, and totally without regard to the principles of any conflict of those laws.
To the extent that you or anyone else has violated, or has threatened to violate in any way, the intellectual property rights of this website, or those of its affiliates, may seek injunctive and/or other appropriate reliefs to be found within any federal or state court within London, United Kingdom. You are consenting to this exclusive venue and jurisdiction in such courts.
All Other Disputes Are to Be Resolved as Follows:
When any dispute should arise under this agreement, it is understood that we must first attempt to resolve it with the assistance of a mediator that both parties find satisfactory, in the following location – London, United Kingdom. All fees and costs aside from attorney fees that are associated with this mediation will be the equal responsibility of both parties involved in the dispute.
If a dispute resolution proves to be impossible and a satisfactory agreement cannot be reached via mediation, then we agree on submitting this dispute over to binding arbitration found in this location – London, United Kingdom. It will be arbitrated according to the rules laid down by the American Arbitration Association. The judgment rendered via arbitration may be entered within any court that has proper jurisdiction.
This page may sound a bit hostile and undiplomatic.
However, if you had read what was handed down the the attorneys to begin with, you would be glad to be reading this version of the rules that govern this website.
When we pointed out the anguish of what they had laid down, and of what our users would go through when they read it, they found it all quite amusing!